I have to differentiate between values and ethics. Trust me, this relates to parenthood, especially in Portland. Values are variable as one's station in life changes. When I was in college, I valued, free time, independence, and my friends. When I was married, I valued "being an adult," supporting my wife, maintaining a job, etc. As a parent, and even when while Casey was pregnant, my values shifted away from personal gain and enjoyment and, instead, toward supporting my daughter and securing her future (as much as I can.)
Being a good steward of creation, reducing waste, eating sustainably, and other environmental concerns (typical Portland) are not mine and Casey's values. Those are part of our ethics. Ethics don't change so easily. They are a part of what we believe is right and honorable. Here's an equation to illustrate: (ethics + station in life = values) It is because of our ethics that we do not eat fast food. It is because of our ethics that we fanatically recycle. It is because of our ethics that we use cloth diapers. My mother doesn't believe that we will stick with cloth diapers. At least, she didn't think we would. It's been almost a month and we still use them. We don't see it as inconvenient. We use cloth diapers because we can't, ethically, use disposable. If other parents want to, I won't judge them (too much), but we simply can't do it.
I'm on the wrong computer to post any good pics of Sesame. I'll try to get a recent one up sometime this week.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Late
So I'm off to a great start here. I forgot to post this past weekend and it's only my second post. I thought about it on Saturday, but put it off for Sunday.
I've got two things for this post...one new insight and one anecdote:
The anecdote happened within hours of my last post. I came home from the coffee shop where I wrote the last post and Casey was up with Sesame. We had received some books for her for when she's older. I decided to read one of them and I chose the one about a girl, Emily, and her daddy. He takes her on his bike to ballet class. These bike rides are special times. Later in the story, Emily begins to ride her own bike. This book hit so close to home and I was already emotionally vulnerable. Halfway through, I had to stop because I was so choked up. After a break, I finished the book, but got totally choked up again. It's weird to me to cry because I'm so happy and full of hope.
I have learned that Sesame decides everything we do. We can make plans to meet up with friends, go to church, etc., but if Sesame is in a fussy mood, we don't leave the house. I'm okay with that, but it's totally new to me.
I've got two things for this post...one new insight and one anecdote:
The anecdote happened within hours of my last post. I came home from the coffee shop where I wrote the last post and Casey was up with Sesame. We had received some books for her for when she's older. I decided to read one of them and I chose the one about a girl, Emily, and her daddy. He takes her on his bike to ballet class. These bike rides are special times. Later in the story, Emily begins to ride her own bike. This book hit so close to home and I was already emotionally vulnerable. Halfway through, I had to stop because I was so choked up. After a break, I finished the book, but got totally choked up again. It's weird to me to cry because I'm so happy and full of hope.
I have learned that Sesame decides everything we do. We can make plans to meet up with friends, go to church, etc., but if Sesame is in a fussy mood, we don't leave the house. I'm okay with that, but it's totally new to me.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A New Blog
It's Father's Day and a monumentous one for me; I've been a father for two weeks now. I'll be posting weekly...Saturdays or Sundays about new insights or funny stories about fatherhood. This week will just be background.
My wife, Casey, and I have been married for nearly six years now. We have wanted to have children for a while now, but were in graduate school, then had uncertain careers. Things settled down and we started trying to have kids. Casey told me she was pregnant while I was looking at beer at New Seasons Market. I was thinking, "Which beer do I want?" and she said, "I think I may be pregnant."
I didn't know what she meant by "think I may be" so I asked, "What makes you think you are?"
"Because the pregnancy test said I was."
And there it began. Now, I was excited when we decided to try to get pregnant...anticipation, the thought that we're finally going to do this, but pregnancy was even more exciting. Fast forward 40 weeks and and our daughter wasn't born yet...officially late. Three days later, about 2 AM, and we're leaving for the hospital. It was difficult to see my wife working so hard to give birth, but my daughter is beautiful. Everyone seems to love the pictures of my and her because I look so happy...so they say...and I am happy.
Now, two weeks later and I'm still happy. I don't like screaming in the middle of the night, though. It's not the diaper changing every two to three hours that gets to me. It's when she's screaming and wiggling that gets to me. Nighttime is supposed to be peaceful and she's usually not when her diaper is being changed. I'm learning to be patient.
We had a grand plan about how she would sleep at night: in a bassinet in our bedroom for a month or two and then we'd transition her to the crib in the nursery. So far, she will only sleep in our bed. We've gotten her into a co sleeper attached to the bed for an hour or so at a time, but her plan certainly doesn't jive with ours. Guess who's going to win?
Oh, one more thing. Her name is really unique so I'm not going to reveal it here...at least not for a while. We called her Sesame throughout the pregnancy so I'll stick with that for here.
Okay, that's all for this week.
My wife, Casey, and I have been married for nearly six years now. We have wanted to have children for a while now, but were in graduate school, then had uncertain careers. Things settled down and we started trying to have kids. Casey told me she was pregnant while I was looking at beer at New Seasons Market. I was thinking, "Which beer do I want?" and she said, "I think I may be pregnant."
I didn't know what she meant by "think I may be" so I asked, "What makes you think you are?"
"Because the pregnancy test said I was."
And there it began. Now, I was excited when we decided to try to get pregnant...anticipation, the thought that we're finally going to do this, but pregnancy was even more exciting. Fast forward 40 weeks and and our daughter wasn't born yet...officially late. Three days later, about 2 AM, and we're leaving for the hospital. It was difficult to see my wife working so hard to give birth, but my daughter is beautiful. Everyone seems to love the pictures of my and her because I look so happy...so they say...and I am happy.
Now, two weeks later and I'm still happy. I don't like screaming in the middle of the night, though. It's not the diaper changing every two to three hours that gets to me. It's when she's screaming and wiggling that gets to me. Nighttime is supposed to be peaceful and she's usually not when her diaper is being changed. I'm learning to be patient.
We had a grand plan about how she would sleep at night: in a bassinet in our bedroom for a month or two and then we'd transition her to the crib in the nursery. So far, she will only sleep in our bed. We've gotten her into a co sleeper attached to the bed for an hour or so at a time, but her plan certainly doesn't jive with ours. Guess who's going to win?
Oh, one more thing. Her name is really unique so I'm not going to reveal it here...at least not for a while. We called her Sesame throughout the pregnancy so I'll stick with that for here.
Okay, that's all for this week.
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